Confessions III: Switch Positions

What do I say,
How should I greet this view?
Maybe it's a tad early,
Since it's still new.

I'm told I'm a trip,
I'm told I'm silly.
Wonder what they'll say now,
If they could see me.

Claims for mulligans,
Reevaluate their assessments.
Contemplating your thoughts,
This failure I own.

Dialed into to your Heart,
Only to hear a tone.
Couldn't get your attention,
Now that attention won't leave.

When caught, It wasn't long,
As tiredness creeps deep within.
Watching those outside my window,
Confusing what's really strong.

Wouldn't give me a double take,
Now call friends so we double date.
Friends remind me we're visual,
But leftover trust is residual.

Struggling with my humility,
As air flows to my head,
Threatening to derail me.
Should I give the benefit of the doubt,

But doubt is all I have in you.
Saying my heart to you should never be.
When you speak I'm already gone.
Let me return anonymous.

Hide me away, so you never miss.
As I separate furthered from you.
Your words are now letters returned where sent,
Because from this view, positions have switched.

Confessions III: Whatever This Is

It's been a while since I've endeavored to figure this out,
What are we, what we could be,
What do we have, how long can it last,
And why does it feel more real than anything,
Yet my mind fails to comprehend everything.

Like the way you make me feel,
Even as I speak, my mouth curves with pleasure,
At the mere attempt to speak your name...
It's just your name,
And yet more than a name.

It's like no one has ever wore that name,
Until you draped it around your existence.
Hopes and dreams now extend beyond me,
Making my soul more enthralled in you,
As my mind displays actions that I can't understand,

Waves of emotions crash swiftly like an angry sea,
Let me hold to your words,
Trickled bread crumbs that lead.
It's all too much, yet I can't get enough,
And I've never talked this way about anyone as I have you...
But you're not anyone,
Not to be confused with everyone.

Because from the creation of this world...
Wait, go back.
The creation of the sun and moon,
Wait, go back.
Before trillions of stars formed a million galaxies,
Before there was a big or little bang,
Yet wait, go back.
Before time and space betrothed to marry.

You were thought of in His mind,
The creation of Heaven now walks this earth.
And still. I attempt to wrapped my conscious around the infinite,
The possibilities of what this is,
Whatever this is.