Winter's Song: Chapter V: Discovery

She no longer returns my calls,
It's not surprising, I deserved that and more,
She offered me what I couldn't receive,
Refusing to acknowledged her feelings, I'm to blame,

Unappreciative of what I couldn't comprehend,
Unknowing of the depths, the beauty it claimed.
Jokingly she'll say "You'll miss me when I'm gone".
I laughed, believing she'll always remain.

Realizing that she couldn't be wrong.
But I wouldn't let my feelings grow,
A longer story why I wouldn't let them show.
I missed her every second of the day,

Reaching out to her without success,
Now without her a happy life is all a mess.
Her friends say I should give her some space,
Mine talk about fish in the sea, and to look another way.

Why waste time, when you know who you want,
But I'm guilty of the same, I want her back,
And I was insane to take her for granted,
Thought she would be here with me, now I panic.

At times wondering if she's seeing someone else,
If so, is hope lost? Is there time left?
Having your love at my finger tips,
I was more than slow, I couldn't grasp.

Her barricade's a struggle, breaking through just to pass,
As long as I carry this breath in my body, I'll use my last.
But I didn't consider my heart may have to obtain,
The realization your love might never be mine again.

Winter's Song: Chapter IV: Useless

She creeps into my mind, like criminals in the night,
Often causing me to wonder what's wrong or right.
Rewind the views, let me partake again,
As she moves with unimaginable elegance and grace.
Seeing her presence, smooth as the velvet sky,
My soul quivers at her entrance, and I know why.

Restraining myself, I can't let her know,
My desire to love, to share her eternity.
Clumsily losing myself in her presence,
Crawling just to pull away,
Falling to one knee, gripping my mouth avoiding what  next to say.

Speak on what I really feel? Nah... she won't be surprised.
She's too wonderful, amazing, like a fragrance I refuse to let go,
When we're together, praying she manages to never go.
Freedom is my illusion, I wonder if I'm also captured in her thoughts,
Unable to see our limitations, greater together, lesser apart.

She's crashed my existence, and I without insurance,
As her first impression, was a lasting impression.
Inconceivable to forget, there is no release,
Her love calls out to me, proclaiming we must be.
Weak at my core, yet stubbornly I attempt to resist.
If I were to walk away, I'll always wonder what I'd missed,
When wishing we said good night, too often say goodbye,
The night ends too soon, requesting the answers why.

My words are Conflicted, my action contradictions.
Telling her I'm not one to marry,
But it's her across the threshold I wish to carry.
I've been torn, I can't trust my issues,
Pride won't let me share,
Confidence says I shouldn't care.

God help me through this, I know it's self induced,
I'll be lying if I said I didn't want to love again.
Does she really care? 

Why does she show me such attention?
Could it be, she also shares all these emotions I've mentioned?
Stronger than I, yet I twinkle in her eyes.
And I'm left with nothing more than excuses,
But when it comes to her, they're all but useless.

Winter's Song: Chapter III: Dehydration

Desert flowers dance to songs from a gentle breeze,
As storms rage within, slowly bring me to my knees.
I was a pretender, thinking myself a contender.
Your affection never a game,
Seeing you find the immature, who don't feel the same.
Constantly convincing myself, figuring I'm the better man,
While contemplating my selection,
When attempting to be your only selection.
And you say don't really know what you want,
Ignoring I have what you need.
Should I plead my case, I'm not one to beg,
Nor mouth dry, disobeying the thirst,
Yet my soul cries rivers, from depths unknown,
Wishing my love could atoned for every man who did you wrong.
As threatens to burst through my chest,
If honest, there's times I wish we never met.
Still willing to give everything and more,
Water to dry grounds, how my heart pours.
Craving your love, more than I desire to admit,
Wishing you returned a flame, it's barely lit.
Cautiously pulling away, knowing there's no escape,
When I can't help holding on to feelings I should have left.