#192: Sorry Apologies

Sorely hurting hearts, torn weaken souls,
Damaged from unfamiliar sources.
Cause and Effects birthed from Remorse's regret,
Because the suffering refuses to go away.

Wishing it came from another place,
Though it was unintentional.
Pain reminds me of days filled with good intentions.

Felt our Love was unconventional,
A pure light, coupled with a healing touch,
Far from conventional.

Thought there were better days in view,
Now I find it difficult to speak with you.
Respected you more than you knew,
Because no one has ever loved me as you.

If things have shifted, let's adjust this gear.
As I feel you leaving me,
Drifting beyond the connection that links souls to mates,
Tired of "it's complicated", why should "right" wait?

If you loved me as I did you,
You'll see the movie of damages caused in me.
But that could never be,
When you only relate when the trailer happens to you.

191: Fallen

Steps are slippery, to the places I want to go,
Your beckoning call, we don't have to go.
But there's wonder in this opportunity,
Something spectacular between you and I,
A perfected unity, if I remain your why.

These days sleeping only leads to dreaming,
And dreaming refuses to be the reality,
Fighting to your heart might be out of reach.
Navigating my failures so you see me,
In the pursuit of you, am I losing myself?
If I find your heart then, does it have it's worth?

Sunken in the depths of my being,
Is my soul filled with good intentions.
The best for you, I often mention,
As I attempt to please you,
Subscribing to your every desire,
Melting away the cold, can I your fire.

Awakening in your arms, that's where I crave to be.
Faith in beliefs that time will yields her fruit.
For one ready to receive and your worth,
As I've fallen grasping on to what could be,
I want nothing else.

#190 Cheat Meal

Caught a glimpse of you,
Craving to see more,
Rather play the roll,
When you're not mine to get.

And it's hard for me to reason my pursuit,
When it's in my thirst, you're all I want to do,
You could never understand my dilemma,
Should we ever agree.

My lingering struggles, this hidden sin,
As my pains overshadow what I know is right.
Not thinking wisely, pondering a taste tonight,
Quite a problem, formulating vsions of taking you in, is it enough?

Not returning to the well, could be so rough.
Curiosity, and it's murderous ways,
Take hold of me because now I have to know.
Should all this food fit this bowl?

189: Grains of Sand

Sand evaporates from time that should be eternal,
Watching each moment slip from my grasp,
Conscious it's wasted opportunity,
Guides to grief or anger, the sensation all feels the same.

Just as each day, wondering if we will ever change,
When you seem content for us to remain this way.
There's always one who cares more if we survive,
Would love it to be you, but we know that's a lie.

Invested more than your actions probably deserve,
When I'm giving my all, isn't that what I also deserve?
Now contemplating your true intentions,
While you build a resume screaming this isn't where you want to be.

Because what we have isn't normal,
It's not like our love really could be.

We should have been a couple growing old,
At some point, you've lost interest, so cold.
And I watch tearfully as each grain of sand says goodbye,
Walking away carrying the reasons why.

Facts, not assumptions are things I rather not explore,
Took "L's" in Love, what's one more.
A mistake I've made, I wouldn't wish on another,
Only Wish you'd love me correctly, like you may another.