Love Letters: III. Charged, Accused, Convicted

Who's loving who? Whose love's more true?
Who hurts the most, if the other were to vanish?
In search of knowledge, but there's certain things I rather not know,
Trial set to order, Judge carries the motion,
If there's no you, where's my heart suppose to reside?
Homeless, restless, with a strength that refuses to give up,
Thinking too hard, steam rising from my head,
Only reminds, as cold weather exposes my warmth isn't enough,
But feelings linger even on the hottest days,
Cools my mind as my world is seemingly on fire,
Not of a girl, but a woman causing a Tug-of-war,
Loosing my grip, followed slip, tumble to fall,
Fear crumbles before infantile Love, which my soul has longed to nourish,
Guiding me to new horizons, eyes have yet to behold,
In thinning air, words become significant as they're now rare,
Losing consciousness, fading away into vat of emotions,
Priceless, only shard by a privileged few
Escaping into your essence, now fugitive to all others,
Held in custody as life is the sentence,
I've been charged, accused and now stand convicted,
Judgement approaches and none can refute, when I know I'm guilty of loving you... To be continued

Love Letters: II. Stuttering

My words my words they get kinda fluttered,
Excuse me, I guess that was a stutter,
But how can I be blamed,
When I scribble in the dirt and in up writing you're name,
Consequentially with my last behind,
Thinking too far into the future,
Rush rush past like the hours of traffic,
Which contrary to the name wounds up being slow,
Knowing that this is supposedly the best way to go,
Failed so quickly, that things seemed fickle,
Wanting to reminisce and laugh, but can't feel the tickle,
Seeing that it's no laughing matter,
Should I really be searching for Love, when it leaves empty platters,
Chasing Pavements when at times I rather give up,
But my heart speaks loudly and won't Shut up,
And though at times I find myself fighting against it,
I encounter you and I'm once again defenseless,
Total total mess, possibly a test,
One taken a thousand times before,
But I find myself against my better judgment wanting you,
More than the pain of having you, then somehow losing you.
What's a man to do when there's no easy choice?
Could scream it from the mountains, but only lose my voice,
Tried tried to speak clearly but my words tend to flutter,
Off into the winds, as my heart stutter,
To beat once more for the chance of loving you,
I'll give all I have until time's consumed... To be continued

Love Letters: I. Authentically Loved

I don't want to date you, I just want to Love you,
Dating is attempting to qualify my Love,
Trying to see if you bring Peace like a Dove,
Loving you not because of what you did, gave, said or even have.
Not even because you bring joy to my heart, in need of a laugh,
Because laughter is like medicine to my soul,
Once stopped, now ready to play again.
Like a Toni Braxton song, it's as if I can breathe again.
Even when I find you're the one who took my breath away.
Considering words best able to display,
Why my heart's racing for you, I'm in a relay,
Being the first to connect, with every possible second,
When your heart is set on me, it only need beckon,
Not being far away, or off in the distance,
Because my desire is here, never far or missing,
For it's your affection I seek, mine I hope to give,
If it took eternity it's yours as I live,
Contents well spent on time with one who doesn't need me,
And may not want me, as I do the crumbs of her moments,
It won't matter unless the Earth split and shattered in two,
Even if that were to happen, I'll still feel her in my heart,
Making her very real, so we're never apart.... To be continued

Q & A

I don't ask the question, on why do I smile,
Just know it hasn't been this Big in a while,
Not that I've obtained, but what I feel is Hope,
That things will be different and on Love my heart can float.

Yes, float away down flowing streams,
Where Love is King and dreams come true,
Every singular moment I lay eyes on you,
And when you're not seen, you still reign supreme,

Over my collective thoughts and desires,
Nothing in this world could quench my fire,
Burning bright through long nights,
When I'm alone, I know I'll be alright,

Because alone is never alone, as I breathe God's air,
When finding someone to rest your heart in, and this life to share.
So when the question's proposed, why a smile comes to view,
I simply answer them with my heart, truly given to you.

Ships passing in the Night

Set sail my heart into waters unknown,
Amidst gentle yet lovely tones,
In search of a lost love; valued,
Treasured beyond all measure,
Praying she’s safe, that one for me,
Across a night’s sky, beyond the sea,
My eyes once more long to gaze upon her face,
A privilege most cherish with sweet grace,
In her embrace, my dreams unfold,
Worth the high winds and furious cold,
Saying she’s worth it, such a understatement,
For her hand I'll wait, as long as it takes me,
As I for her, she seeks my view,
To rendezvous to lands a new,
Hopes to take this journey together,
Fighting Life’s storm and horrid weather,
Difficult to continue to connect,
As time is lost when traveled west,
Sorely missing the other,
If there's something, is there time to recover?
Flashing lights to show you that I’m near,
If only you could hear my heart, know I'm near.
Forever searching, as life obscures our sight,
As our Ships pass in the night.

A Heart's Barricade

No words written or spoken can clearly do you justice,
Taking advantage of fleeting moments when it was just us,
Apologizing for my wrongs may not hold the pure value of its meaning,
For all the wrong I committed and your heart I was deceiving,

Lies upon lies and more tend to follow,
Streaming from my mouth to your ear, making them hard to inhale,
Lies upon lies and all in attempts to be intimate,
To steal what you treasured and held so close,

Your trust in me, ever increasingly making it difficult to believe,
Forgiveness make’s this my Heart’s earnest plea,
Even scraping the bottom of my soul,
Words displayed without feeling, even in HD can seem so old,

And I return saying this time things will be all new,
Still contemplating the fear of hurting you,
Cheated on you, ruining expectations with unknown, but carefully placed deceit,
Like beginning a race, when you’re sure of defeat,

For God alone has the strength to change this bruised perception,
Because when you see me coming, all you see is deception,
Saying I love you, as if it was the savior,
Like those words alone could excuse my behavior,

Bringing things under the umbrella of forgiveness,
Am I being honest, or just trying to give you the business?
Thinking with the wrong head, most times not thinking at all,
How you managed to loved me, when you should be appalled,

Attempting to erase tear stained cheeks,
Am I eligible to build you up, when I made you weep?
Not giving you the credit deserve, seeing that you were so strong,
To still have the ability to Love again and forgive my wrongs,

Seeking clemency for crimes committed against your heart,
This is just a message in the hopes the healing starts,
For my sorrow cannot turn back the past,
But Love can over shadow all, if you’ll just let it pass.

Conspiracy Theory

Broken Hearts rendezvous with Shattered dreams,
And yet Love continues to plot and scheme,
Almost as if it's some weird kind of enjoyment,
By giving something, then removing it as torment.

That thing it gives, I believe it's called Hope,
Which causes me to forget what I can't cope,
Erasing pass encounters,
Like a bad use car dealer who "tweaks" the counter. "RESET"

Has me believing,
No longer deceiving,
Myself thinking this day would never come.
Like trying to catch my breath, but having no lungs,

Then Hope introduces Love as if it were the first time,
Causes me to Hope and Love she'll stay for a Lifetime,
Not the movie, but brings a happy ending,
To the cycle of Love for you, Hope in me,
Concluding forever as We.

Walk With Me

She says she wants to get into my head,
Locksmith what I’m really about, see what treads,
As if I haven’t opened up for only you to see,
Not sure that’s the place you really want to be,

It’s set a blazed in so many ways,
Unconventional, sometimes sentimental,
Romantic softy, hardcore lover, among others,
When your search is over, it's cool to call your brother,

Tell him you’ve met the man he can walk you down the aisle,
I’m not rushing, but I know where this will lead,
When you’re ready to pull over, pass your heart’s key,
I’m not even twisted, about the ones who missed it,

Yours or mine, our thoughts, mindset, emotions in check,
Let’s not let things get away, like the flying time,
Having fun, you giving me your day, my day, it’s one,
Direction aim toward finishing the journey,

Your soul’s a class, I’ll forever be learning,
Graduating, never debating, glad you waited,
Clear eyes, no glasses, it’s you only I see,
Life’s choices are crystal, when you walk with me.

Around the Corner

I should be upset, I should be angry,
I should be looking for someone else to save me,
From this life of singly being alone,
If I've sinned, let this be the time I've atone.
It shouldn't be this way, wish that it wasn't
I wish you'll listen to the things I had to say, no longer fussing,
Bring back MTV, because it's your heart I'm trying to sway,
There's still time, why delay?
And its all looking like a repeat,
Don't come back to my heart with the receipt, refund
Can't deal with it, shouldn't have to, don't want none,
Can we go back a time when things were more fun,
Shining ways even on cloudy days,
It's not taking a chance if you know it's the sure thing,
It can be like Coke, if you want the real thing,
Maybe sing it like Miguel, saying let's just be,
New day approaches, guess we'll just wait and see.

The Simple Things

Is it weird that I look forward to your text message?
I mean, come on, it’s just a text message,
Well, not only the message… but I think you know what I’m saying,
Fact is, If it’s someone else, my elation drastically lessens,
Because I love to hear that tone of my phone,
It’s like a gift trying to be unlocked, unwrapped and unleashed,
Into this life, in earnest your messages tend to lighten my life,
As the Sun brightens the day, gives growth to plants finding their way,
Seeing your name displayed, it might as well be in neon lights,
Cheeks redden, accompanied with a smile, with such delight,
Is it weird to feel this way not even seeing your face?
Yet knowing it’s the face that I only want to see?
Close my eyes and dream it’s closer to me,
Maybe, quite possibly…touching my own,
Is that too much to ponder in a simple poem?
If I sung it, would it do it more justice?
Because emotions are arrested by your essence,
Wow and I'm still just talking about a phone,
Let me find something else to do,
It's like I find myself drowning in quicksand,
As we merge in intellectual, sometimes affectional dialect,
If my heart were open,(and I'll say that it is),
It would sure be easy to dissect once lost, now found intentions,
To bring into open, things I've longed to mention,
All because package data travels wirelessly, effortlessly through space and time,
That comes from your phone and captivates mine.

Confessions: Catching Feelings

Maybe I should and maybe I shouldn’t,
Ask for her number, catch her attention,
Look her in the eyes; tell her she’s what dreams mentioned,
And once I found her I can’t let her go,

Tell her the secrets no one else knows,
Long strolls, romantic rides,
On top of the world, reach the sky,
Tell her that I’m more than just a little smitten,

Can you cuddle in my arms, be my little kitten?
Write a love song, that no one else can sing,
Until the day you wear our wedding ring,
Yea I'm probably moving too fast,

I’ll seal these feelings until the time has passed,
Give you the best of me, I'll be the east, you’ll be the west… You see,
Kinda have the feeling; met One my life can’t remove,
Spend my waking hours devising ways to get close to you,

And in my dreams see clear visions,
About the decision I’m about to make,
So I’ll start things off by asking you on a date,
If the night permits you’ll soon know the truth,

That the one who stands before you, is One meant for you.

Confessions: A "Single" Fear

You’re my heart throbber, breath taker, a life shaker
Intelligent problem solver, dream shaper, a smile maker
Crazy little out of control, in control, fire shining brighter than the sun,
With tenacity that won’t quit til the battle’s won,

My sometimes angel, other times vixen
Blood pressure elevator, lovely motivator,
One who easily stands out in the crowd,
The one who makes even your competitors say “wow”,

And they’re not competitors, because there’s no competition,
Your're what you write about in poems, making others sit & listen,
Cause Lovers find you easy to Love, Everyone who encounters wishes to be friends,
Looks that stop time, then speak so it begins,

My special friend, a secret love, would search the sky,
Just to find your face & hear a Hi,
The greatest treasure on this blue earth,
Has me thanking God He gave birth,

To the soul I most willingly connect,
A gem I wish would press play and say next…on Life,
Be more than what we are, visit destinations afar,
The one I try not to think about,

Because without, you’re all I think about,
You're the start, I’ll be the finish,
The one I wish my Love could diminish,
Then rise from the Ashes, Burning with new passion.

Okay, so I'm rambling off feelings like an auctioneer,
Finding with you there's a "Single" fear,
If I said I loved you, would you stay near?
Or would what I treasured soon fade away?

Guess we'll find these answers on another day.

Confessions: The Things I Never Said (Part I)

It’s like it wasn’t supposed to be this way,
It all got twisted and you had no voice,
Empty hands tied hoping things could change,
Your tears falling from your eyes like rain,
Wasn’t there when you needed me,
Can’t be mad if you don’t forgive me,
Trying to do the very best I can,
But in the end I’m still just a man,
And no, a phone call just won’t do,
When unable to console for all you’ve gone through,
Hearing your heart dispense,
Pleading the Lord that there be recompense,
Or could this distance be erased,
Unable to dry tears from your beautiful face,
Pride turns to dusty shambles,
Broken soul and heart dismantled,
Praying the Angels would come to quickly meet you,
Hold fast until my touch can reach you,
Find a comfort in my voice,
When at there hardest, in God rejoice,
Loving you more, is my solemn vow,
Asking the Lord to show me how,
Circumstances not desired, but my love will have to do,
Never quenched will be my fire, just to be close to you,
We’ll be together soon, so don’t be sad,
Because nothing bring me more joy, than being your loving Dad,
Love you,

Dedicated to Jaden Jaron Robinson & Jordan Javon Robinson

Confessions: Love Vacancy

We were as close as life would allow us to be,
Like sand gathered on the beach across the sea,
You were my closest friend, my only lover,
There was only you, never another,

Impossible to separate the lovely two,
At least that’s what I believed, from this point of view,
With no regard, nonchalantly interrupted my life,
And though it wasn’t the best, I had no strife,

Rethinking the change in atmosphere had no limits,
Lasting forever beyond the living,
I loved you, every escaped thought, tattooed with your name,
You said you loved me too, the melody your heart sang,

So why are you no longer by my side?
Publicly shedding my last tears, the others I hide,
Missing you deeply, heartfelt wishing you could remain,
When you’re absent, none shields my rain,

As it pours…, only missing you more,
Wondering if you’ll gracefully return again,
Should I wait for you, or let hope end?
Should I hold on to the memories of you and I?

The weight it carries I refuse to deny,
Holds me closer, longer, than desired, leaving me where I am,
On shores of life waiting once again,
Wondering if you really care how much I yearn for you,

To once again know the intimate elements that make of you
Rekindled before my time expires…,
As seconds feel like never ending minutes, minutes like eternal hours,
And hours fade like laundry forgotten in the sun,

Aspirations I could stop calling, but my heart’s unfinished, Saying
Return to me…,
Hear my plea…
Draw near to me…,

Or am I unwilling to be believe, what unfortunately could truly be,
That Love has forgotten me.

I Can Handle This?

I want so much,
But deserve so little,
Like wanting a guitar,
When I really deserve a fiddle,

And these notes I play,
Should be just for you,
But I find myself,
Giving to one or maybe two,

And when it fails,
Oh and it will fail,
You're not even mad,
Knowing what words to say,
When I feel so sad,

Start feeling recovered,
And I’m rearing to go,
Forget to say thank you,
No gratefulness shown,

Why do I strive to leave,
The places I should not,
Racing down hills,
With no way to stop,

And yet you know how,
To put on the Brakes,
You know what I need,
Before I even say,

Striving to be my own,
Without having a clue,
That in you I am,
And I belong to you,

To go untended,
Will surely cost,
Like a child in the store,
Who's parent is lost,

Yeah, I said it right,
The parents lost,
Because it couldn't possibly me,
Because I'm grown you see,

I know where I'm going...
At least I think I Do...
You see Life is like crowded trees,
And I can't quite see my way,

Looking for a shoulder to climb,
I say Daddy hey?
Do you…, Mind…, if...,
I take your hand?

And when tired,
Ride on your shoulder?
You know I can’t do it all,
even if I’m older,

May Bad, It seems it wasn't about me,
It would was always about you,
Okay, Clearly I missed it,
Take a moment and Thank the Lord for repentance,

My life like a dark closet,
Unable to see the door,
You place me where you would,
So I can be restored,

And now it’s your path,
And direction I'm seeing,
I know it’s In you I live,
Move and have my Being.

Confessions: Uncaptured Thoughts

Even as I write, can’t help thinking of you,
Face cramps from a statue smile, that cannot be removed,
Thoughts of times we embraced,
Sunlight dancing across your face,

Hearing your voice, as our day unwinds,
And giving space to share your time,
Future plans of playful rendezvous,
I check the calendar for it to come soon,

Pondering if your Day heeded my prayers,
Failure to give you the best, it wouldn’t dare,
My heart’s desire is the best for you,
To never see you hurt and never blue,

Times we interact brings me great joy,
Like past Christmas mornings waiting for toys,
Your existence makes mine persistent,
To perfect who I am, because of you I’m better than who I am,

Each second from you beacons for a response to answers I can’t reply
If you were here, in you my love would lie,
Wondering if the most precious soul, made woman from girl,
Would say I do, and share my world.

Confessions: Just Because

I am unequivocally, unapologetically, so heavily, madly in love with you,
It isn't really who you are or even who I am,
Just what would, could be, together with you and me,
Yeah I know that's bad grammar and doesn't make much sense,
But when has Love with the one it's meant?
It doesn't make sense, and that's what makes it Real,
And it's not reliant on wave like emotions or cheap trills,
Occasional feels and fleeting moments come and go,
But those things that are valued never show,
The tarnish, degrade, scratches and tore,
Because when deprecated, Love actively completely restores,
So if you ever ask the question, why you're the one I love,
Just remember this poem, it's name is Just Because.

Confessions: Signals Crossed

Ummm? Excuse me, I believe you've missed a spot,
Because if you're gonna vacate, don't just leave a drop,
And if stripping out my heart like paint was your intent,
Please take this opportunity, fall to knees and repent.

Maybe I should, since I mistook your actions,
Of those seeds given to bud with passion,
Now I'm questioning...,
At times asking...,

What just happen?
Was there an opportunity?
Could this even had worked?
Just wondering...

Just saying...
For you, no longer displaying,
The parts you thought were me going all in,
We're merely where I start to begin, Nevertheless,

For relationships that seems to be the cardinal sin,
If that's how it is,
That's just how it's gonna be,
No longer hinting of life with me,

Keep my distance...,
Maybe you'll make a move...
And won't even pray that it comes on soon,
Or come at all,

Because when love is lost, hurt is the fall,
Coming to conclusions to make us content,
Never mine you...
It is I who repents.

Never Let Go

Intro:
Me: You ready?
Her: Yeah I'm ready (Smiles)
Me: Okay, don't let go

With just one step it was over,
Thoughts of past loves and hurts give goodbyes,

In my hands now lies destiny,
The only love meant for me,
Falling, falling, through the air,
As the Sun & Wind play with your hair,

Though I can't see in front of me,
It's relevance escapes,
Replaced with romance,
Only to enhance this Journey we call life,

To be where I store my heart each night,
Yielding the Best,
Exhausting it All
Leaving no Doubt,

For gladly I pour,
Daily my gift,
Love to you, benefits I reap,
Return inevitable, but special and new

Shinning, refreshing into my life,
To make us brighter, what is the Night,
For the Light rules the day,
As Fear bows down and obeys,

And now that love is here,
Hold on tight, do not release,
Falling hearts sing pleasant sounds,
For where we are Love abounds.

My Bad.

It's no secret who I'll love for all time,
Mad chemistry, as if scientists designed,
Yeah its mad, because no one could believe,
That on your hand, would be my ring,

I look up to Heaven and thank the Divine,
And it really doesn't hurt that you're JUST THAT FINE!
Oh, those other people?
Let them say what they will,
If its just me and you, God knows it's real

Personally, I really could care less,
If you wait a minute...never mind...there goes less,
And you already know that this man's a mess,
But if you know like I do, together we're best,

Take your time and walk that aisle,
As your directions flows to me, Destiny calls
All eyes on you, but you don't seem to notice,
Because I'm in your view, & love's our focus,

Geeez, My Bad!
It seems I went long with this verbal expression,
Cause when thinking of you, I forget I'm leaving a voice message.

Play the Role (Love No More)

Saw you the other day walking by, immediately sighed,
Seeing that wasn't me by your side,
Waited for your heart to shed some light,
To understand your true & only Mister right,

Seems you took a chance and walked down that aisle,
To cover the pain, I just sat and smiled,
Hardest thing was to accept that invitation,
Knowing a charade played and I'll be faking,

Tell you I wish you the best and was happy for you,
Realizing that was the first time I'd ever lied to you.
With wedding bells watched you walk out that door,
Knowing I shouldn't love you anymore,

Pushing past regret, searching for someone new,
Attempting to cover the heart batter and blue,
So guilty as I roll over seeing her sleeping face,
When I wish it was yours it could replace.

Part II

Love Synchronization

Hello Lady, hope you're doing alright,
Let me invite you in, on my thoughts just for tonight,
What would you do, if I told you to never leave,
To one day give up single, to be one with me.

That this would be the last time your heart would be deceived,
Writing about you daily would be nothing, if you never believed,
Or even worst if unable to receive,
The gift of love which is wrapped up in me.

Can good come from letting you in this place you're not willing to be led?
Where your thirst for love is quenched and inhibitions fed,
Personally, wouldn't blame you in the least
Because this can get deep, and I may not be the one you seek.

And if that's the case, I'll just have to let it be,
Not giving up on us, just the timing we sync.

The Last Last Goodbye

Here I go again,
And how can this be?
I’d almost giving up on thoughts of you and I
But this feeling’s quiet nice, and I can’t even lie.

This throbbing in my chest, a long awaited feeling,
Should have known it would be you, that I’ll be dealing.
I tried to play it cool, but I’m really not fine,
Just to be close to you, I’ll gladly cut the line.

Gathered my strength, to bury these old feelings,

Useless attempts, when it’s your smile I’m seeing.
And I even attempted to treat you, like just another girl,
But a woman walked in, and blew up my world.

And I swear it’s not a reaction, to just another moment,
The composure once held, is now truly broken.
Making claims I would no longer fall for you,
But I can’t seem to start something, that was never really through. 

Always hoping, you’d remain in my life,
Wishing you didn’t have to leave that night. 
Time departs, and delighted times slip into sober thoughts,
My heart still speaks, and you’re all the talk.

This feeling struck more than I wanted to show,
Maybe confessing more than you desired to know.
But I'll gladly take the risk, revealing what my heart had to say,
If I knew it'll be the last time, I'll see you walk away.

Co-Labor (Mother's Day Tribute)

It seems their maybe an issue…
Okay no issue,
Let’s call it a concern of sorts,

Looking at man I can say he’s good,
But there’s something missing, and now it’s understood,
And you don’t even have to be me to see where’s the need,
Needing someone to co-labor with me,

I can look down through time and see my solution,
To find someone worthy to carry majestic destiny into being,
Because looking at man even as he rest,
I can’t find him meeting the qualifications to carry my very best,

Finding one to allow love to grow for 40 weeks inside,
To be protections, and my eyes,
One who will allow it to reconstruct (deconstruct???) their design,
Stretching their curves and shapes out of place,
Temporarily removing the tag of being “Super Fine”
Transforming into something closer to me,
Just to bring big head gifts through a matrix opened so others can rejoice,
One ready to produce creations and have humanity live,
This is not a blessing to anyone I can give,
Then have audacity to do it more than once…..Really???
One to build an eternal connection and refuse to let it break,
Even when times are hard and things don’t go their way,
Constantly forgiving moments of stupidity as I have done,
As natural as hummingbirds sing their love song,
To provide healing for the soul on a raining day,
Causing clouds in life to roll back like tides of the sea,

Doing only what a God can do,
I’ll create woman and bring her into view
Not just a help meet for him, but also for me,
To one day be a mother and co-labor with me.

Realization

Can I make This Day sing?
Remembering these seconds in disbelief,
To cause it to recall euphoria in times of grief?

Can I make This Day happy?
Saying words that will so graciously elate,
To break down monstrous foundations it can't shake?

Can I make This Day smile?
Acquiescing its display unseen for the longest,
To be a helping hand when it's not the strongest?

Can I make This Day come true?
Formulating compilations of its acquisition,
To see this fulfillment is clearly your decision.

Don't

Don’t make me ponder, while thoughts look to you,
Recognizing a sought after dialect personified in delight,
As you speak the keys design to open a longing heart.

Don’t make me miss the wonderment that is you,
Pausing in starch anticipation of inhaling your appearance,
As time and space depart, separating before us as we intersect.

Don’t make me adore, as gravity pulls me closer to you,
Like two interstellar bodies destined to collide,
With a singular heartbeat we’re synchronized to truth realized.

When it's all said and done,
And romantic bliss we've already won, I've become aware,
I Don’t want to LOVE without you.

Last Tears (Part 1): Revised Edition

Today, her pear-shaped tear drops lightly shower the dry & dusty land
Like scattered footprints commonly left upon the sunny French Riviera's sand

Her trail of tears, which was said to stretch for unknown miles around
Could be heard asking the question, "How quickly can we be found?"

Several short, shallow gasps of air later, a horrid scream is unleashed
Only Pain & Death bear eyewitness to what truly lies beneath

Contorted like a broken doll, her dark dollhouse lies amidst the jagged rocks anchored to the soft ground
Muffled, salty sobs can be heard as her knees embrace her young bosom's mound

This pain, her pain, saturates this gloomy morning air as a thick,misty fog
What remedies remain then, she asks? Do I end it all now in disgust, or bitterly await a happy ending a la The Princess & The Frog?

Navigating through the volatile emotions that fuel her ever-raging sea,,
No land is in sight, or signs spotted, showing me how to become free,

She smiles & peacefully begins to envision her lungs taking in their last breaths,
Fully persuaded that her soul's oil lamp has nothing left,

She tries her hardest not to recall all she's been through,
But as seconds turn into minutes, and minutes to hours, it becomes that much harder to do,

She cries louder & harder as if a whistle were blown for a race,
Her heart, fearfully slows down its' beats, ready to give way,

She wondered out loud, " Is this truly the path that I must lead?"
Who in lives past, did I wrong for such pain to cleave?

Warmth quickly arrives, to modestly dress her bare, artic, shoulders,
Excited to have found the melter of her internal icebergs, she stands in awe by the puzzling absence of her beholder

In the faint distance she's able to hear a few staggered steps,
Yet, she chooses to remain still, since she can't harness the power to do anything else,

She asks herself, "Why would they willingly come to such a dreary place?
Don't they realize there is nothing they own, that I can replace?

Things get out louder with each progressive step,
Strength escaped like a prisoner who desires to one day, be free,

She whispers, "I'll just lay right here & let this place be my end,
Many moons ago, my heart first messaged for help, but never hit send,

Thinking on how her life had no meaning,
Wishing she had the nerve to end it herself & could stop thinking of all her post-death cleaning

Bitterly reminiscing on all she's lived through,
She suddenly looked around, only to realize that the footsteps had stopped too.

When Love Stirs

What is this I feel?
It's not the others,
Things slowly stirring,
As if not to spill over from a cooking pot,
I'm not overwhelm,
Because He's at the helm,
Releasing control in sharing my soul,
If I had two lives I'll be just as bold,
To say that I'm really feeling her,
And if I keep it cool it will be longer than a blur,
Ask her if she has a lifetime or two,
And if she does, tell her I want to share them with you,
Interconnection and His majestic plan
I look Him in the face and say you are surly the man.

Last Tears (Part I)

Tear drop imprints shower the dry and dusty land,
Like footprints scatter along a crowded beach,
The trail of which can be followed from miles around,
To one truly lost in a barren waste,

With gasps for air she unleashes a horrid scream,
Only Pain and Death really knows what she means,
She distorts over like heavy rocks to the ground,
Muffled sobbing heard as knees embrace her face,

Her pain...her pain, is saturates the air as a misty fog,
Even the birds flee away from such despair,
Her emotions engulf like a roaring sea,
No sight of land or how to be free,

She begins to prepare for her last breath,
Believing right now she has nothing left,
She tries not to recall what she’s been through,
But they brawl their way through the maze of her mind,

She cries louder and harder as if it were a race,
Her heart hastily beats, ready to give way,
She wonders, why does this have to be?
Who did I wrong for this life I lived?

Warmth arrives to her arctic shoulder,
Instantly melting away internal icebergs like global warming,
She looks up startled to see the beholder,
She finds none, hope was there but now it's gone,

In the distance she hears steps,
She doesn’t have the power to do anything else,
Thinking, why would they come to such a dreary place?
Don't they realize I have nothing of value to take?

Things get out louder with each progressive step,
Strength escaped like a prisoner who wanted to be free,
I'll just lay right here let this place be my end, she whispers,
Long ago my heart messaged for help, but never hit send,

Thinking on how her life had no meaning,
Wishing she had the nerve to end it herself,
Thinking on all she’s went through,
She suddenly realized the footsteps stopped too.

Try Again

If at first you don’t succeed?
What about the 9th or 10th?
Can I stop then?
Is love something that you win?
When do I retire my dream?
Is what I see in others as true as it seem?
If it’s a mirage, they play it well,
I know I'll forget what happen and jump in,
Maybe not now, but soon with hope,
That this time will be right, and I don’t look like a dope,
When looking for love they often seem right,
But wait til midnight,
Things turn back into pumpkins, others back into mice,
What happen to it all?
Why do feelings come and go?
Attempted to trace their tracks, but the trail goes cold,
Is fantasy reality?
Or reality fantasy?
Can I think of Love without the past & its failures?
To find one peaceful night, please clear the weather,
For I can no longer gamble my heart,
Hmmm maybe should have said it a while ago,
But somewhere you have to start,
And like Charlie Brown with dreams of kicking the ball,
As soon as I say I’m done, I allow myself to fall,
In love, Deep in Love,
With prayers it’s the right time, the last time,
To share the sunrise with her by my side,
If at first I don’t succeed?
Yes...I'll Try Again

Loved in Advance: I Want To

I want to wake up in the morning as I see your face,
Thank God for the opportunity for your presence I grace,
Snuggle real close on the coldest of nights,
Whisper sweet things throughout the day,
Remember the journey and how it led me to you,
The love shown in return always fresh and new,
Take long walks on a sunny day,
Just to hear your voice and what you have to say,
Grow old together but yet feel so young
Leave love notes behind, for when I’m gone,
Greet you with a kiss when I return,
Discuss our past and future and the things we've learn,
Cheer for you in all your endeavors,
The one you lean on through life’s whatevers,
Talk to God together who makes us complete,
Talk about God, His word we preach,
Worship the Lord in the unity of the Spirit,
Be holy examples to point them to Him,
Fulfill our destiny carved with His hands,
Have no lack for what your heart demands,
I guess what I’m really trying to express to you,
I just want to Love You.

And Now

And Now....here we go again,
Just me and you,
Some minutes have passed, more than just a few,
We’ve gone through a lot,
Passed and failed some tests,
Attempting to understand this life and it's quest,
If I haven't said it, I say you're pretty special,
Who would try to deny?
Giving the best in all you do, like giving love a try,
Not looking as if things will ever come through,
You continue to Love regardless with a heart so true,
I know you worry about what happened,
But just let it be,
Keep moving ahead is what you teach,
Time to live what you preached,
So much left to see, even more yet to do,
To the hills direct your head,
Remember God's there for you,
Assure His spirit is always followed,
Assure your spirit always led,
Best answers come from questions form on their knees,
And now is the time to be strong,
To unleash greatness dormant within,
Hold fast to eternal life,
In a world so dark, you be that light,
I'm encouraging you to stand, encourage you to live,
You've only seen the tip of the iceberg,
Through faith release the seal,
You are Loved, you are one of a kind,
Your pain? Yeah...leave that behind,
You’ve been through worst, and this is much less,
Greatest of God is produced, when you’re at your best,
Focus on that mirror and see what God so love,
Ok... enough reflection there's more work to be done.

Wondering

Thought of you tonight…
I’m sorry it wasn't intentional,
Only went outside, And saw stars twinkle,

Gazed above and wished the view could be shared,
Because I’ve lost the one I love, which can’t be compared,
Wondered if you were seeing the same sight,
Wondering if my name crossed your lips tonight,

Wondered if hope for us could shine again,
If time would help, I’ll gladly bend,
Scrolled through messages and see your face,
Say a quick prayer and hope it’s not too late,

If it is I’m not sure I want to know,
Die or Live? only time will show,
Second chance hope for, to give this love a try,
Move forward then come back to you, I think I know why,

Shared my soul, deeply connected,
Abruptly ended, deeply affected,
No lessons on how to “fall in Love”, that's all too easy,
Gravity takes hold and don't fall too quickly,

But for all my life there’s one thing I've failed to learn to do,
Just how do I "fall out of love" with you?

Picking up Pieces

Shattered were my hopes and dreams,
Shattered more, was my heart at its seems,
Seeing the pieces lay there on the ground,
Not knowing how it burst, not hearing the sound,
Each day is a step in the right direction,
Force to heed a heart that beckons.
To walk across sands seeking new horizons,
In search of truths, and how to find them,
If love were game I’d believed I’ve lost this round,
Listening for a beat from my heart, it can’t be found,
Not giving up on hope that Love again can be born a new,
Just giving up on that fact that it’s no longer with you,
Could play the role, and begin to pretend,
Like I never met you, so there was no end,
But in that lie, I’ll forget what I’ve learned,
Doom to repeat the mistakes and not discern,
Those who enter and access my heart,
Then dismantle within and tore apart,
Not intentionally but the results speak for its self,
Which felt right, hastily turned left,
Gathered myself because the journey hasn’t ended,
Love of God comforts, starts the process of mending,
Knowing the old will turn to new,
As I encourage myself and move on through,
To the future knowing that love is not lost
One day try again,
Believing it will be found again,
Within the realms of God, without guilt or sin,
Shattered were my hopes and dreams,
Shattered more was my heart at its seems,
Not seeing the pieces there on the ground,
But found complete in God's hands, safe and sound,

Still in Love

Why can’t I be just like any man,
Once love is lost, quickly move on again,
And though I’m better, and things start to become new,
I still find myself thinking of you,
Attempting to live my life just the same,
Just seems wrong, and I think you're to blame,
Allowing one to touch their soul, can’t be easily replaced,
So I guess that’s why I find it hard, for these memories to erase,
I know it will be better, and it already has,
I take two steps forward and remember our past,
Maybe I should be stronger and maybe I shouldn’t care,
But it’s hard to do, when our lives we planned to share,
I know it’s not your issue, and it’s not your problem
Just had to write my thoughts, in hopes I could solve them,
Wishing it could be different, doesn’t make it change,
Wishing we still talked, and getting to know you again,
I can respect your wishes, I’ll just leave this with you,
Honestly...I’m still in love with you.

Guilty (Ex 20:3)

I stand here accused and don’t need a trial,
Looking at the evidence they’ve recently compiled,
I’d like to explain my innocence,
But right now it wouldn’t make any sense,
Because it would seem as though I had no clue,
Of what the word truly meant, when thinking You,
If I said I didn’t do it, that would be a lie,
Right now I might do it again, if able to try,
I know it’s sad, but I’m confessing to You,
Just saying somethings you already knew,
I’m Guilty!
There I said it!
It doesn’t matter anymore,
I can’t regret it,
Just give me the punishment, you have in store,
For I’m guilty of this and so much more,
Guilty of loving, without cause or a license,
Loving without reason, across all devices,
Guilty of loving without really knowing if it was even deserved,
Guilty of given my heart & soul and not being able to serve,
Guilty of loving ahead of its time,
Guilty of loving before she was even mine,
Guilty of giving the deepest parts of me,
Where others seek to know and some want to be,
Guilty of loving her, for better or for worst,
Guilty of loving so much it hurts,
So when I became guilty of pleasing her over You,
Here comes my arrest, all over, all through.

More than Love...Believe

I couldn't ask of a better woman for my Love's affection,
I’m honored that you’ve also made me your selection,
I feel for you what I haven’t another,
Like when souls opened up and won't be uncovered,
Joined voices as we prayed and studied God’s word,
The laughter from the jokes we shared,
Family talks and love ones to compare,
Our inner secrets, we only exchange,
Heartfelt connection will always remain,
Talking with our children as if they were our own,
With future talks of sharing a home,
Sitting going through pictures we've sent,
Thanking God for the time we shared and He allowed to be spent,
Taking time to tell one another what we really mean,
Prayers at night, for everyone we connect,
Praising God first that it's each other we've met,
Our Love is True, don’t ever be deceived,
But if Love’s not enough, what more do we need…Believe.

Happily Ever After?

She said too much, too fast,
Even I had to wonder how long this pace could last,
And with all that said, I would gladly slow it down for you,
As long as forever ends up with just us two,
So we take it easy, I give her space,
Until then reminisce of our times and place,
Holding hands, an embrace, or a kiss,
Those are a few of the things I miss,
Like, the sound of her voice,
How when I hear it, my heart perks and rejoice,
And even now as I think on who she is to me,
I wonder... how she’s doing? Does she even miss me?,
Do I cross her mind?...anytime?
Or was it fleeting as time passes by,
Though far away, she's never felt more distance,
Am I that forgettable? What was I missing?
Was it all infatuation? Was our love an act?
I believe it to be real, but somehow disconnect,
Could this be the end? Are we still connected?
I've waited for all my life, now things feel so uncertain,
My love for her so strong, don’t draw the curtain,
Should have pressed the breaks, before Love’s rush ended,
Could have adjusted, could have amended,
I still believe in love, and believe in hope,
I still believe in a second chance,
And believe we’ll find our romance.

A Lovers' Stroll

I feel like I’m ready,
I hope that you’re ready,
I think we’re ready,
Are we really ready?
Walking hand and hand,
Into destiny’s laid plan,
Loving He’s made you my woman, and I your man,
The future is here,
Now’s the time to walk within,
Relishing every second, as it begins,
We’re here now, so much we can do,
God brought me across time, Just to love you,
Amazing is how we feel, when we’re together,
Love’s foundation is strong; I know it’ll last forever,
I’m here for you; I know you’re here for me,
Hold on close, inseparable means don’t leave,
Often confessed, we’ve never felt this way,
But when it’s of God, few words need we say,
I’m still taking it in,
Loving you more, and there's no end,
Committed til my heart stops beating,
And even after I’m gone,
I know you’ll still be feeling,
The greatest love, you’ve never known,
I’m grateful God chose me, to assure for you it’s shown.

Speechless

Her Love is amazing,
And we haven’t even touch,
Hold on...I stand corrected,
That puddle right over there,
My heart turned to mush.
I’m the one who usually over does it,
Always revealing his feelings,
The one who writes it down,
Telling the world the depths of my affection.
I'm completely caught off guard,
Feeling her love in return,
Not even the love I sent out,
But the one I’ve always yearned.
Not exactly sure what to say,
Or how one tries to explain,
So equally matched,
Our Love’s a draw again.
I’ll be Okay…I think,
Just give me a moment to adjust,
Because her love for me is strong,
Like being hit from an unseen bus.
Now I understand how it feels,
On the other side of Love’s tidal wave,
I usually cause its motion,
But this time it’s me, who can’t be saved.
Let me immerse myself,
Let me go deeper,
I’ll risk it all,
For my heart she is the keeper.
God how do you do it?
Make such a perfect design?
If I had chose myself,
Would have missed things being blind,
You knew what was best,
Gave me more,
And never less.
Where to start?
Where to attempt to explain?
I’m at a loss for words,
I’m Speechless, yet again.

Text Messages

Hey, how are u,
I hope ur doing fine,
Wanted 2 say I love u,
Tell u ur on my mind
What’s going on?
How is ur day so far,
Had u on my heart,
Missing u,
Just wanted 2 talk,
Can’t call right now,
But hope 2 soon,
Not connecting is not cool,
Like the Sun, without it’s moon,
Texting will have 2 suffice,
Wish I were with u,
Instead of using this device,
Times running out,
I’ll just say how I feel,
Love 4 u comes from the right place,
Where I am with u,
No other can displace,
I have 2 run right now,
They seem 2 have something 2 mention,
But when I’m done here,
U’ll have my full attention, ttyl.

Just the Three of Us

I’ve waited for this day, and it’s a blessing to see,
You falling in Love, just the same as me,
Floating to the ground, right before you land,
I look into your eyes, and say “don’t let go of my hand”,
I’m here with you, for you, I’ll never leave your side,
Let the presence of the Lord, be our constant guide,
Assure this relationSHIP never shipwrecks, won’t let it get caught in the tide,
Bottled emotions liberated, no longer having to hide,
I’ll fall to my knees, because of this incredible joy,
Give the God of Heaven admiration, His name I will forever extol,
Had I not experienced it, I wouldn’t have believed,
Won’t get caught up in other’s comments, true love always receives,
I know He really loves me, I know He really cares
Because He brought you to me, and none can compare,
Wanting to get closer to Him, just to talk to you,
Pray to Him for you; assure your days are blessed,
That He gives you strength, through every appointed test,
You are bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh,
The missing piece, the one I wrote about without rest,
You are the fulfillment of the prophecy, for that my heart shouts
This is the truth, of this there is no doubt,
The Love I have for Him, never ending, untainted, unfiltered,
Overflows quickly, and in your heart it’s stored,
Forever in Love with Him, working for your hand,
Is the way He intended, for this is His perfect plan,
A new day approaches, for which I’ve longed to see,
A path destined by God, a walk just for three.

Loved in Advance:Talk 2 Me

Talk to me, let me know how you’re feeling,
I may have the remedy, for what you’ve been dealing,
I’m here now, you can bend my ear,
Let’s discuss your hopes and also your fears,
I got you; feel free to put me to the test,
You’ve may have loved others, I’m nothing like the rest,
Intend on giving this love a try?
It won’t give up, even if I die,
Too much to handle? Too much to deal,
You haven’t seen anything, more to be revealed,
Trust me, you’re worth my heart’s investment,
The benefits will show, our lives as their testament,
This maybe too much, but this is me taking it slow,
For me it’s just the tip of the iceberg, the end will never show,
So tell me all your heart’s desire, and whatever’s on your mind,
Because when I think of you, all I want is your Quality Time.

Loved in Advance: 20 Lines

Turn from your past, I’ll now be your future,
Release your problems; I’ll aid in their solution,
I’ve waited years, knowing this day will come,
Trying to share with you, the chapters of my heart,
For when I begin, I’ll never know when to stop,
To Live with you, yes… that is my treasure
Sincere emotions, abundant with no measure,
Love as Christ, had for His bride,
Forever looking forward, to you by my side,
Praying for you, rather joined instead,
Never an argument, before you go to bed,
My love flows so easy, like breathing the air,
Joined hand and hand, but never more free,
I proclaim to world, that you are my only,
Be there when you cry, hold you in my arms
Shower you with affections, that never grows stale,
Always respected, never called out of name,
Allowed to be King, you’ll always be Queen
To say how I feel and what you mean to me,
I started with these 20, with more yet to see,

The Missing Piece

I can’t say I can stop the rain in your life,
But I’ll be your umbrella, to block the water from your sight,
I can’t say I can give you the world,
But I’ll willingly share mine, to lay your burdens if you care,
I can’t erase the guilt of your past,
But I can be the one to liberate your future,
I can’t say I can give you forever,
But I’ll give you my life and never to another,
I can’t say I have the world’s answers,
But I’ll be the answer to that prayer you sent,
I won’t stop until you know what’s love purest existent,
We’ve got these moments, and I don’t intend to waste,
Let’s enjoy companionship, no rush, no haste,
Cause the world to envy, desire what we’ve achieve,
Put it all together, give others hope to believe,
I can be the missing piece; to the puzzle you’ve never finish,
I can shine my light on you and make sure its love never diminish,
I may fall sometimes, attempting to clear your path,
I may not be perfect, but I'll be perfect in making this last,
If love were my mission, I find it complete in you
I could love you forever; I’ll say it’s what I’m called to do,
I’ll share my heart and soul, revealed only for you,
I’ll lay my guard down every time, with you there is no blue,
Loving you is what I thought; now know I’ve been missing,
Thank God I have to close to me, the Piece I have been missing,

Life's Theme Song

The ground beneath me doesn’t feel the same,
Every since in His name I PROCLAIMED,
Can’t let what I see, get the best of me,
Loving God now, I don’t have quit in me,
I love this life and whatever it brings,
Somebody pass me a mic, so this song I can sing,
Tell'em, I've been Redeemed from the fall,
His voice I clearly hear my name call,
I love it, like I’ve never love another,
Because I love Him, I can now love my Brother & my Sister,
People look at me Smiling and say what's wrong with you Mister,
I tell them, my life not my own, my sin I can't condone,
Purpose and Direction all fall before me,
Giving me secrets to questions I never knew to answer,
But have them now, that I know the ANSWER
They only ask, because they don't know the TRUTH,
The Life you live, is not about YOU,
But in Him you'll find what you NEED,
His Life is the theme, and my journey is the subject,
I dare anyone to come through and try to interrupt it,
Truth of God now lives in my mouth
Prepare the World from the North, West, East & South,
Max this life to the fullest,
but only if you know how to handle it,
Dismiss everyone in your life, who seek to dismantled it,
Shout Out to the ones who love the Lord and won't give him up,
Mark your haters and have your life shut them up,
As you ride with Christ, the whole world will see,
The new creature He always wanted you to be.

Truth Carried

If I were to marry, it would still be you,
I’ve connected my heart, to one I barely knew,
Months later, seeing it fall before my face,
Loved lost again, now feeling disgraced,
I’ll be your friend, knowing it could have been more,
I wonder if you also regret what fate had in store?
I want to open up and say I’ll be ready to love again,
But failure doesn’t easily release its hold over me,
As I moved on, each encounter with you unearths pieces of my heart,
Hope in us, begins to reconnect the parts,
I remember you said you never wanted to see my face,
Phone number, friendship all erased,
Me wondering was what we had that fleeting?
Is there nothing more to our faithful meeting?
And yet I’m able to forgive what was said,
Then you bond with me, I think you’re feeling the same,
Why do I find myself attracted like a moth to a flame,
Do I foolishly give love all the blame,
Full circle my heart deals with truth carried that never went away,
I love you now, as I did on that first day,
But I’ll never say, until it’s too late
I hope there’s still time before your wedding date.