Things Gone Awry

In “Jump Start”, it was never intended
In “After Image”, not seen and yet felt,
The conscious mind has its own aspirations
Attempting to put into words, a heart’s sensation,
Seemly not enough, my subconscious now comes to reveal,
Expressing its desires and things that were sealed,
Because lately, I find I dream of you,
Maybe just one…well if I’m honest… maybe two,
Dreams not causing one to sin,
But of those where time passes and where you’re my closest friend,
The first time; I called it a subconscious gone awry,
Not inhibited by my efforts or attempts to guide,
The second time; I realize it wanted a voice,
And though I suppressed it in my heart, it still made its choice,
So with its two cents and my emotions now amplified,
The cries of my soul, I can no longer hide,
My conscious controls these thoughts when I’m awake,
But In my dreams, the subconscious, lately I can’t shake,
The battle within,
I find it hard to defend,
So I make no plans or thoughts of what to do,
Knowing secretly, I want to be with you,
Knowing openly, I hold off feelings that fall for you,
And though I still try to fool myself,
The feelings for you are all I have left,