Winter's Song : Chapter I: Hypocrisy

I can say it was manipulation,
Truth is, I was always gullible.
Believing everything she gave,
Wishing I could avoid the words she said.
Unable to proceed, my soul receding in quicksand,
Every time wanting the more to take her in.
Even though I know it's the wrong way to live.
I'm blind amidst the darkest night,
Touched by her, feelings I no longer want to fight.
And I can't ignore what I can't see,
When unable to release the feelings desiring her with me.
Revived for a time, though it's temporary,
Strengthen for a time, though it's contrary.
Stars quickly brighten the sky,
Offering illusions that it will be alright.
Yet my soul cradles Black holes that steals their light.
Even so, as I speak I wish I had her the more,
The hypocrisy from my mouth my lips pours.
Because honestly, I'll always hope it'll change,
Though her face is replaced with other names.
Each time causing my confidence to become my weakness,
And right now I feel I'm at my weakest.
Thoughts fumbled to the forefront,
Giving way to things I really shouldn't say.
Because talking about her never makes her go away.
Just exposing that for Love I'll always be a fool,
Lessons never learned, as she takes me to school.
Heart leaves me in shambles, but I manage to survive,
To feel her touch again, from Love I can never hide.